Random Thoughts

Thursday, September 28, 2006


On Gilmore Girls Tuesday, the season opener, Lorelai was getting rid of the things from her relationship with Luke. However, she was also getting rid of everything that reminded her of Luke, down to a spatula involved in resolving a past fight.

I was thinking about these extreme measures this morning and realized that I am wearing a shirt today that was bought when on a trip that holds special memories for me about my most recent relationship. And I like this shirt, hence the reason I bought it. Should I throw it out just because he liked it too? Should I get rid of all the things from that relationship? If so, half my music is gone, my bathroom decor, several movies that I like, I should never hike again, or say "I love you" to another person. In truth, I would have to remove part of myself. I discovered so many aspects of my personality during this relationship. Things I like, things I don't like, places I want to go, the kind of person I want to marry. My entire senior year of high school and nearly all of my time in college would have to be forgotten. I would need a brain wipe, basically.

Is this really how we should deal with a break up? Granted, I have caught myself getting rid of some things that are too much to keep or wondering if I should part with something, but mostly, I have built walls in my mind and heart to keep the pain away. This is not, however, something I would suggest to anyone else.

And how long is it until you can look back at these tokens without it hurting? Does it ever happen? Can a broken heart ever be truly mended? Is it like a pulled muscle that is never as strong again, or like a broken bone that is even stronger at the places it was broken? And does purging ourselves of our "spatulas" really aid the healing?


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